In A Family Way
by Irrepressable
Summary: Lately, the Doctor has noticed something different about Clara. He just can't figure out what it is. When he finally does figure out what it is, he knows that nothing will ever be quite the same again. Something tells him that they're going to have to get married a little sooner than expected. Sequel to Something Dumb to Do
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, my dear readers! It's me again. I'm still taking a break from** _ **Unexpected**_ **and I've decided to write a third part in the series that I've started with** _ **As You Wish**_ **. This story takes place six months after** _ **Something Dumb to Do**_ **. I'm not going to put any spoilers in the first chapter of this multi-chapter story. I hope you all like it.**

ooooooooooooooooo

 _ **In A Family Way**_

Chapter 1

Laser fire was erupting all around them as the Doctor and Clara dashed across the open field. The Time Lord quickly spotted a large, rocky outcrop. He grabbed his human fiancee by the wrist and pulled her behind the outcrop with him. "You _had_ to annoy their Queen!" Clara said with an annoyed tone in her voice.

"How was I to know that commenting on their horrendous drape scheme was high treason?" the Doctor retorted.

"Whatever." Clara sighed. She looked off into the distance and asked, "How far away from the TARDIS?"

"About 100 meters." the Doctor replied.

"100 more meters of dodging laser fire." Clara said with a groan. "Great. Just great."

"Well, on the bright side, at least the Royal Guard consists solely of people who couldn't hit the broad side of a Jorthax." the Doctor provided.

"What's a Jorthax? You know what? Never mind." Clara said. "Okay, get ready to run."

"All right." the Doctor replied. "We'll take off in 3, 2, 1! RUN!"

The Doctor bolted and Clara dashed after him. As their feet ate up the distance to the TARDIS, the Doctor felt a burst of heat as a laser blast narrowly missed his ear, instead singeing his hair and leaving a sunburn-like burn on part of the left side of his face. As the pair sprinted through the thick fog, the Doctor spotted the TARDIS about 15 meters away. "There it is!" the Doctor shouted. "We're almost there!"

"Thank goodness!" Clara exclaimed.

Ten more meters to go. Nine more meters. Eight more meters. Seven more meters. Six more meters. Five more meters. Four more meters. Three more meters. Two more meters. One more meter and... there! The Doctor quickly unlocked the door, opened it, and quickly entered, followed immediately afterwards by Clara. The human female shut the door and it latched behind her. The two of them could hear the sounds of the Royal Guard attempting to break down the door, not that they would succeed. The timeship was a veritable fortress. The Doctor quickly accessed the console, entering a series of commands before pulling a lever and sending them into the vortex. Clara laughed and flung her arms around the Doctor, hugging him tightly. The Time Lord, not thinking of his occasional distaste of hugs, threw his arms around his fiancee and twirled around, lifting her feet off the ground as he spun in a circle. Once he set her down, she took his face in her hands, pulled him down to her level, and pressed her lips to his. The Doctor raised his brow, caught somewhat off guard. When Clara released him, she grinned broadly at him. The Doctor smiled back at her. His fiancee burst into giggles. Once she got herself back under control, she cleared her throat and said, "Well, I suppose that crosses one potential venue for our wedding off the list. No thanks to you."

"Again, not my fault." The Doctor defended himself. "'Don't complain about the decor' was not on the list of rules of conduct displayed outside of the throne room."

"Well, I suppose not." Clara replied. "Still, I blame you."

"Well, we still have a few more options for locations on the list." the Doctor said. "We have a time machine, so we have plenty of time to find and select one."

"I suppose you're right. Clara agreed. She then said, "We'll get back to our search on Saturday. I have work tomorrow and I need you to drop me off back at my flat."

"I still think that it's ridiculous to follow something as hum-drum as a schedule." The Doctor scoffed. "We have a time machine!"

"I don't want you to miss the date again." Clara replied. "I love you, but I have a job that I need to do."

"Places to go, adolescent humans to educate." The Doctor mused as he entered the coordinates to Clara's flat. "I suppose that someone has to keep their brains from turning to pudding."

"Quite." Clara said flatly.

When the TARDIS touched down, Clara headed to the exit. After opening the door, she turned to the Doctor and said, "See you on Saturday."

The Doctor smiled and waved at Clara. Once she left, the Time Lord turned back to the console and sent the TARDIS back into the vortex. He then licked his lips. He could still taste Clara on his lips. She tasted different than usual. It was oddly familiar. He was certain that he had tasted it before. He had tasted it long ago. He knew that he had. For the life of him, he couldn't place it. The Doctor shook his head, dismissing the thought. He'd figure it out later.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The Doctor and Clara sat together, watching the musicians playing on stage. The Time Lord was wearing a nicely fitted suit with a rather lovely TARDIS-blue necktie. Clara was wearing a matching bodycon dress that went down to mid-thigh and a pair of strappy, silver wedge sandals. The human female looked up at the Time Lord and grinned. "I can't believe that you managed to get us box seats." she said, equal parts pleased and surprised.

"The owner of the theatre owes me a favor." the Doctor replied. "I may have rescued his great-grandfather from giant, man-eating hamsters a few regenerations ago."

"You 'may have'?" Clara questioned.

"Well, it could have been giant, man-eating gerbils." the Doctor amended.

"Only you would run into a situation involving giant, man-eating rodents." Clara chuckled.

"Well, at least it wasn't shape-shifting cannibal supermodels again. Leticia was a vicious one." the Doctor replied. He then let out a nostalgic sigh and added, "Amazing kisser, though, and no one could make a club sandwich quite like her." He cleared his throat. "Never trust a woman who can single-handedly disassemble a cow carcass in less than ten minutes, has more than one humanoid skull in her bedroom, and won't let you look at her freezer, Clara."

"You kissed a shape-shifting cannibal supermodel?" Clara questioned.

" _She_ kissed _me_." the Doctor replied. I did _not_ have sex with that woman."

"I never said you did." Clara said with a raised brow.

"Well, at least nothing that legally counted as sex on that planet." the Doctor added awkwardly.

Clara smirked at the Doctor and asked, "Have a few kinks that I don't know about, Doctor?

The Doctor leaned over and whispered, " _Several_."

Clara shuddered with excitement. She then turned to the Doctor and said, "After this show is over, I am absolutely going to _wreck_ you."

The Doctor smirked and asked, "Why wait until the show is over?"

When intermission started, Clara stood up and grabbed the Doctor's necktie. "I saw a rather nice coat closet on the way up here." she said.

"To the coat closet, then." the Time Lord smirked.

Clara returned that smirk and began to leave, the Doctor's necktie still in hand. He eagerly allowed his fiancee to lead him away. He could hear the coat closet calling their names.

Just before the end of intermission, the Doctor and Clara attempted to smooth out their disheveled appearances and tousled hair before leaving the coat closet. The Time Lord gave the human female one last deep, lingering kiss before leaving the coat closet with her. On the way back to the box seats, the Doctor licked his lips. He could taste that oddly familiar taste again and this time it was slightly stronger. Just what was that taste and why couldn't he identify it?

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The Doctor, to his surprise, discovered that Clara could run surprisingly well in heels. Security was currently after them, much to the Time Lord's annoyance. "This is not my fault." Clara said.

"I know, but slapping him certainly didn't help." the Doctor replied.

"It's ridiculous. It shouldn't be illegal to refuse the Duke of Grazzlegrot's marriage proposal just because I'm not currently married." Clara said angrily.

"You still shouldn't have slapped him." The Doctor scolded her.

"Well, _you_ shouldn't have punched him." Clara argued.

"He made inappropriate comments regarding my potency _and_ he tried to steal my fiancee." the Doctor argued back.

"Just shut up and run." Clara said with a scowl.

When they arrived and escaped in the TARDIS, the Doctor gave Clara a quick peck on the lips. He then licked his lips once again. "Well, look on the bright side." he said.

"What's the bright side?" Clara asked.

"At least now we have a band for the wedding." the Doctor replied.

The Doctor still couldn't identify the sudden change in Clara's taste.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So, where are we going on this particular Saturday?" Clara asked later that week.

"The Palace of Emerald Light in the Crystal Vale, a rather lovely place on a planet called Shanta, otherwise known as the World of Endless Gemstones." the Doctor replied. "In the year 750Y, when the Palace of Emerald Light had turned into a popular hotel."

"Sounds lovely." Clara said with a smile.

"Indeed." The Doctor smiled back. He began to enter the coordinates and explained, "It's on the list of potential places to hold our wedding."

"Anything we're going to have to worry about?" Clara asked.

"Not really." the Doctor replied. "The last known conflict on Shanta was in the year 950X. It was the worst and only war ever to take place on that planet. We'll have to ride Hufabeasts there. They're basically three-eyed donkeys with fangs as long as my index finger."

"Well, let's get going, then." Clara said with a grin. "Let's go to the Palace of Emerald Light!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Clara sat down on one of the benches in the jail cell with a sigh. "Great. Just great."

"It's not that bad." the Doctor argued. "There's a 50% chance that they won't execute us."

"You still landed us in the worst and only war ever to happen on Shanta," Clara huffed, "800 years before you were supposed to go to reach the hotel in the Palace of Emerald Light."

"Again, not that bad." the Doctor said.

"There's a 50% chance that we'll be executed!" Clara pointed out.

"There's also a 50% chance that we _won't_ be executed." the Time Lord pointed out.

"Show us your tits!" Another prisoner yelled from the next cell over.

"Shut up!" Clara snapped.

"I have an idea for a plan." the Doctor suddenly said.

"What's the plan?" Clara asked.

The Time Lord leaned in to whisper in his fiancee's ears. "My sonic is in the guard's pocket. If you distract the guard, I should be able to get it so we can escape."

"Are you sure this will work?" Clara asked.

"I'm 87.358% certain that it will work." the Doctor replied.

"Only 87%?" Clara questioned.

"An 87.358% chance of escape is better than a 50% chance of being executed." the Doctor said.

"Well, you have a point." Clara sighed.

"All right." the Doctor said. "I'll need you to distract him in 3... 2... 1."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The Doctor was still frowning when he closed the TARDIS' door behind him. "I can't believe you did that." he huffed.

"Well, you said to provide a distraction." Clara said.

"Did you have to show him your breasts?" the Doctor asked, still scowling.

"It was the first thing that came to mind!" Clara defended herself.

"You couldn't think of _anything_ else?" the Doctor groaned.

"I panicked!" Clara argued. "You only gave me three seconds to come up with something. It worked, didn't it?"

"It did work." the Doctor huffed. "That doesn't mean that I have to be happy about it."

"Well, we're back in the TARDIS." Clara said, trying to be positive. "Now we can try to get reservations at the Palace of Emerald Light."

The Doctor nodded and headed over to the console. He entered in some commands before going completely still. "There's going to be a problem with that." the Doctor said awkwardly.

"Can't get a reservation?" Clara inquired.

"Worse." the Doctor replied. "For the next ten years after 750Y, the Palace of Emerald Light will be booked solid by a succession of increasingly more disgusting furries. Its reputation will be completely ruined and in 765Y, it will be replaced by a McDonalds. It will be the best McDonalds in the entire quadrant, but it won't be a hotel anymore. I've tried the lamb burger there."

"We should go there some time." Clara said. "After the wedding, of course. Like you keep saying, we have plenty of time. You have a time machine, after all."

"Fifteen venues down," the Doctor said, "five more to go."

When they returned to Clara's flat, the human gave the Time Lord a goodbye kiss before leaving. The Doctor licked his lips. The identity of the difference in taste was literally at the tip of his tongue.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The Doctor held Clara's hair back as she emptied her stomach into the porcelain waste-disposal device. Once she had regained control of her stomach, she let out a groan. "I hate getting sick."

"Gastroenteritis, no doubt." the Doctor said, releasing Clara's hair.

The human female sat up and wiped her mouth with a square of toilet paper before flushing it and standing up. The Doctor watched her wash her hands. He couldn't help but feel sympathetic. Gastroenteritis was no fun. He also hated seeing Clara so miserable. "I think I need to go to the sofa." she grumbled.

"Rest on the sofa, then." the Doctor said as he led Clara out of the bathroom and to her destination.

Once she was there, she sat down. "I'll make you some tea and put a movie on for you." the Time Lord offered.

"Tea sounds lovely." Clara replied. "I just got Netflix, though. I can pick my own movie."

The Doctor nodded gave Clara a peck on the cheek before heading to the kitchen to prepare the wonderful beverage. Tea was the answer to everything. The Doctor paused and shook his head. No. Tea was the question. The answer was always 'yes'. In no time, the Time Lord finished preparing the tea. He had prepared it just the way Clara liked it. One splash milk, no sugar. He then carried the tea, the wonderful elixer of life, over to his ailing fiancee. When he got there, she was watching a fantasy romantic comedy. The Doctor handed the cup to Clara and while he was at her level, she gave him a kiss on the lips. The two shared a smile and the Doctor sat down next to her. While she was focused on the movie, he licked his lips. He could almost figure it out. Suddenly, he realized what the difference in taste was. Her taste was altered by the presence of human chorionic gonadotropin, otherwise known as hCG. The Doctor's eyes widened dramatically. His keen sense of taste was never wrong and the presence of human chorionic gonadatropin could only mean one thing.

Clara Oswald was pregnant.


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh boy. Our heroes are in for it now! How will the Doctor break the news to Clara? How will she react? How in the name of tea will they tell Clara's family and what will she tell her family about the Doctor? Stay tuned to find out.**

 **I also have to rant. Why am I one of the only people in my building who drinks tea like a normal person? They always have to have tea with ice, even when it's not summer. The only time I ever drink iced tea is summer, and even then I still drink hot tea. Then there is that whole sweet tea nonsense. I don't get why anyone drinks that stuff. Don't ruin good tea with that high sugar garbage. It's basically Kool-Aid. Don't waste tea by burying it in ten cups of sugar. This so-called sweet tea is basically sugar with a little bit of water that tastes slightly like tea. If you want Kool-Aid, just drink Kool-Aid, you coward. Leave the tea alone. If you want tea, drink it like a normal person. It's okay to add some sugar to your tea, but don't smother it in sugar. When you make so-called sweet tea, it makes normal tea drinkers all around the world cringe. You are not drinking tea. You are drinking glorified Kool-Aid that tastes slightly of tea. End rant.**

oooooooooooooooooooo

Chapter 2

Clara was pregnant. She was pregnant. How was it possible? He had been ninety-nine percent sure that they were genetically incompatible. He was so sure that he hadn't even run any tests. He had lived for over two thousand years and he had seen many horrifying things. However, even in his long lifetime, very few things had terrified him as much as finding out that Clara was pregnant. He hadn't thought it possible, yet by some miracle his fiancee was carrying his child. The Doctor looked at her thoughtfully. Did she know that she was pregnant and just hadn't told him? He thought about it for a moment. No, he decided, she didn't know. She hadn't shown any indications of knowing- none whatsoever. The Doctor took out his sonic and did a quick, discreet scan. The results indicated that she was approximately six weeks along. Clara glanced at him and asked, "Are you okay, Doctor?"

"I'm fine." the Doctor lied. "I just hate this movie."

"Of course you do." Clara replied. "You always cry at the end of this movie."

"I do not!" the Time Lord huffed.

Clara rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say, Doctor."

Then the human female returned her attention to the telly, the Time Lord tried to devote his fearsome intellect to the situation at hand. Okay, so Clara was pregnant and she didn't know. He knew that he was going to have to figure out a way to break the news to her. The tough thing was that he wasn't good with words. He needed to break the news delicately. He cleared his throat. "Clara?"

"What?" Clara looked at him.

The Doctor swallowed silently and asked, "Have you ever thought about starting a family?"

Clara shrugged and said, "I thought about it, but I kind of put that aside when I decided to marry you. Kids probably aren't in our future for biological reasons."

The Doctor nodded said, "Right- but if they _were_ possible, what about then?"

"Well, I figured that you wouldn't want children because it would get in the way of your lifestyle. No kids, no responsibilities, right?" Clara replied. "Besides, I know how much you claim to hate the whole domestic thing. Never mind that you actually do domestic fairly well, like you're doing right now."

The Doctor nodded and looked away thoughtfully. Could he do the domestic thing? Having children was by its very definition domestic. If Clara decided that she wanted a child and decided to give birth, he would have a lot of thinking to do. If she carried to term and gave birth to a healthy child, the Doctor would be up to his elbows in domesticity. Whatever the case, he had to tell Clara and he had to tell her soon. If she figured it out before he told her, she would be very cross with him. That was something that he was quite sure of.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

The Doctor pulled back the seat at the table, giving Clara room to sit down. She was wearing an off-white, floral-patterned, knee-length paisley dress and cowboy boots. The Doctor was wearing a well-fitted charcoal suit, a bolo tie, and, at Clara's insistence, a Stetson cowboy hat. He drew the line at cowboy boots. The Doctor sat down across the table from Clara. A few minutes later, a waitress arrived. She was wearing a knee-length, blue plaid dress with cowboy boots and a cowgirl hat. "Howdy!" She greeted. "Y'all ready to order your drinks?"

The Doctor and his fiancee both looked over the menus. Clara looked up at the Time Lord and asked, "Do you feel like having wine?"

The Doctor shook his head a bit more vigorously than he intended to. "No, no wine. You know that I don't like American wine. You shouldn't have wine, either."

"Why not?" Clara asked.

"It's your turn to drive the, ah, _car_ back to our _hotel_." the Doctor replied, altering his answers to conceal the truth from the waitress.

"Well, sugar pie, all we have here is American wine," the waitress said, "all of it made here, in the great state of Texas! We also have beer, if you're interested in a nice, cold Bud Lite."

Clara smiled sweetly and said, "No thank you." She looked down at her menu again before returning her gaze to the waitress. "I'll try the house-made lemonade."

The waitress nodded and said, "One lemonade coming right up, sugar pie." She turned to the Doctor and asked, "What about you, hon?"

"I'll have a Cherry Coke." the Doctor replied.

The waitress wrote down the orders and said, "I'll be back with your drinks real quick. You can decide what to order while you're waitin'. If you're lookin' to try our famous barbecue, I recommend the brisket. It's so tender that you barely need a fork and it falls apart in your mouth."

The Doctor nodded and the waitress left. Clara looked at her menu and said, "Since you brought me to an authentic Texas barbecue restaurant, we probably _should_ try the barbecue."

"You should try the beef ribs." the Doctor suggested.

"They do look good." Clara admitted. She looked at her fiance and asked, "What are you getting?"

"I'll have the brisket." the Doctor replied. "It's the one thing here that I haven't tried yet."

"Why _did_ you decide that we had to go to Big Jack's Big Texas BBQ?" Clara asked.

"The food is good and the service is passable." the Doctor replied. "Also, there was not a single case of food-borne illness coming from Big Jack's during the entire time that it was running. I haven't met the owner, though."

"Well, I'm sure that Big Jack is a busy man." Clara said with a grin.

A few minutes later, the waitress returned with their drinks. She set them down by the Doctor and Clara and asked, "Ready to order or do y'all need a minute?"

"No, I know what I want." Clara replied. "I'd like the Original Ribs."

"Good choice!" the waitress said with an even broader grin. "How 'bout you?"

"I'll have the brisket." the Doctor said.

"All right." the waitress said as she wrote down the orders. "One ribs and one brisket. Your food won't take long!"

The waitress then left again. The Doctor gazed at Clara. It was the Saturday after he had discovered that she was pregnant and he still hadn't told her. Her morning sickness wasn't particularly severe, so she hadn't figured it out. He still wasn't sure how to tell her. He knew that there was very little risk of her getting sick here. In case she decided to keep it after she found out, he decided that he'd try to keep both her from catching any sort of illness that might threaten the fetus. When Clara noticed the Doctor staring at her, she asked, "What are you looking at? Do I have something on my face?"

The Doctor scratched his chin and said, "No. Just... thinking."

Clara rolled her eyes. "When are you _not_ thinking?"

"I'm sure that you could make a list." the Time Lord said dryly.

"You're not still stuck on the having children thing, are you?" Clara asked. She placed her hand over the Doctor's and said, "I told you, I'm fine with you not wanting kids."

The Doctor smiled awkwardly at her as she gently squeezed his hand. Yeah, he definitely needed to tell her soon. She had to know. He needed to know if she was okay with having kids. Was _he_ okay with having kids? He hadn't been a father in a very, _very_ long time. He wasn't sure if he even remembered how to do it. Did he even _like_ children in his incarnation? What if _it_ didn't like _him_? He spoke baby, so he would know if it didn't. Were he and Clara even ready to bring up a little Time Tot together? In the event that he were to have children again, he at least expected to be married to the children's mother at the time. When the food arrived, the Doctor stabbed his brisket with his fork before bringing a piece up to his mouth. Clara raised a brow as she took a bite of her ribs. "These are good!" she exclaimed.

"I told you they were good." the Doctor said.

"What about the brisket?" Clara asked.

The Doctor took another bite, chewed it thoughtfully and swallowed. He grinned at his fiancee and said, "Tender and delicious."

As he and Clara were eating, the Doctor suddenly heard someone speak to them. "You two enjoying your meal?"

It was a familiar voice, one that he would recognize immediately. His gaze jerked to the side and he saw just who was talking to them. " _Jack_?"

"Long time no see, Doctor." Jack Harkness said with a grin.

"I've regenerated. How did you know it was me?" the Doctor asked.

"Only you would look so out of place in Texas." Jack replied. He paused before adding, "Also, I saw you come out of the TARDIS earlier." He winked at Clara and said, "You and, of course, this lovely lady. Might I say, miss, that you look absolutely _stunning_?"

"Clara and I are engaged." the Doctor said coldly.

Jack winked at Clara and said, "Good job, hun! I remember when he was all ears and leather and I was just trying to be a notch in his bedpost. You lucky girl, I can't believe you managed to hook one of the biggest fish in the sea!" He laughed and held out his hand. "I'm Jack Harkness. Congratulations on the engagement."

Clara shook the man's hand and said, "Thanks. I'm Clara Oswald." She then asked, "So, you're a friend of the Doctor?"

"I wouldn't go so far as to use the word 'friend'..." the Doctor grumbled.

"Love you too, Doc." Jack winked at the Time Lord. He took a seat at the table and said, "You're looking at an old member of the Companions Club. I knew the Doctor a while back, before he was a silver fox."

"This still leaves the question as to what you are doing running a barbecue restaurant in the middle of Texas." the Doctor said.

"I needed a change of location." Jack replied with a shrug. "I went through some... difficult times and I had to get away. As for the restaurant, I had some money and running a restaurant was a dream of mine when I was a kid. The building was for sale, so I figured, why not?"

The Doctor nodded. He knew where Jack was coming from. The having to change locations thing, not the restaurant thing. The Time Lord couldn't help but smile at his old friend as he said, "Well, you seem to be doing very well." 

"Yep." Jack replied. "People come from all over to try our famous barbecue. It's won several awards and it was even featured in a show on Food Network." He grinned. "So, when are you two getting hitched?"

"We still need to find a venue." Clara replied. "We haven't set a date yet."

"Knowing the Doctor, he'll take forever to actually get the wedding started." Jack said. He then winked and added, "Unless, of course, it's a shotgun wedding. You two kids have been behaving, haven't you?"

Clara laughed and said, "If you know the Doctor, you know how he feels about domestics. I don't think he's the type to have kids."

"That's a shame." Jack replied. "You two would produce beautiful children. Her eyes and nose, your curls and height- any daughter you two were to have would be drop-dead gorgeous."

"If Clara and I _were_ to have a daughter, you don't want to know what I'd do to you if you made a pass at her." the Doctor growled.

Jack held his hands up defensively and said, "Easy, Doc. You don't need to worry about any daughters you might have anytime soon. I'm in a committed relationship with an interior designer."

The Doctor continued to glare at Jack. Suddenly, Faith Hill's _The Way You Love Me_ started playing from the restaurant owner's pocket. He whipped out his phone and answered the call. "Hello!" Jack listened for a second before turning to the couple. "I have to take this call. You two enjoy your meal and have a lovely night!"

With that said, Jack turned around and left. Clara nibbled at her ribs for a bit before setting them down. "Jack's right about one thing, Doctor." She said.

"What is it?" the Doctor asked.

"We _would_ produce beautiful children." the human female said with a smile.

Okay, maybe she wasn't adverse to the idea of having children. He didn't think that he was adverse to the idea, either. The Doctor took another bite of his brisket and chewed thoughtfully. All he needed to do was tell her that she was pregnant. That couldn't possibly be too hard.

Unfortunately, by the end of their meal, the Doctor still hadn't figured out a way to tell her. As he paid for her meal with a credit card that was linked to an account created for him by UNIT to deposit pay for services rendered over the years, the Time Lord tried to tell his fiancee the truth, but once again, he chickened out.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

It was on a Friday in Clara's time when the Doctor received a phone call from her. He quickly picked up the phone and said, "This is the Doctor."

"It's me, Clara." Clara responded. "I need you to do something."

"What do you need?" the Doctor asked.

"My family wants to sit down and have dinner with us tomorrow." Clara replied.

"No." the Doctor said firmly.

"Doctor, they have some ideas for the wedding. You're my dad's future son-in-law. He wants to get to know you." Clara tried to persuade her fiance. "You have to go."

"Do I _really_ have to go?" the Doctor asked.

"Yes, you do." Clara said. "We're going to have to have a second wedding here on Earth anyway. I can't exactly invite my family to our space-wedding."

The Doctor groaned and said, "For the last time, Clara, it's not a _space-wedding_! It's a _wedding_ that's in _space_!"

"Don't care." Clara replied. "You're still meeting my family."

She then hung up. The Doctor hung up the phone and frowned. He ran his fingers through his silver curls and let out a sigh. "The things I do for that woman."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After landing the TARDIS outside, Clara and the Doctor knocked on David Oswald's door. Seconds later, the man himself opened the answer. "Clara, you're here!" Dave said happily. He looked at the Doctor and in a slightly less happy voice said, "You're here, too!" He stepped to the side and said, "Come on in."

The Doctor and Clara headed into the Oswald domicile and seated themselves on the sofa. "Would you like some tea?" Dave Oswald asked.

"Yes, please." Clara replied.

"Linda!" Dave Oswald called out. "Can you make us some tea?"

"Sure, Dave." Linda called back. "Is Clara here with her fiance?"

"Yeah!" Dave replied.

"All right." Linda said. "I'll have the tea ready in just a few minutes."

With that attended to, Dave Oswald turned to his daughter and her future husband and asked, "So, how have you two been doing?"

"Fine." Clara replied. "How's Gran?"

"She's in the kitchen." Dave replied. "She insisted on preparing roast. You probably won't get a chance to talk to her until supper."

"That sounds like her." Clara chuckled.

"So," Dave said, "Do you mind introducing me to your... fiance?"

"This is..." Clara said, pausing to look at the Doctor.

"John Smith." the Doctor provided. "Doctor John Smith. Everyone just calls me the Doctor."

"Another doctor, Clara?" Dave raised a brow.

"We met at work." Clara supplied. "He used to be the caretaker."

"I was going through a phase." the Doctor explained. "It paid the bills."

"Why didn't you bring him around sooner?" Dave asked.

"Life sort of just got in the way." Clara replied.

"Well, now we'll get to know each other." Dave said with a smile. "Supper should be ready at 7."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

That evening, everyone sat around the table. The Doctor looked slightly out of place in his hoodie and plaid trousers. As Linda passed the potatoes to her mother-in-law, she asked, "So, John, just what is it that you do for a living?"

"I'm a travel writer." the Doctor replied. "I get to see a lot of places and meet a lot of people."

"Have you ever seen Mount Rushmore?" Clara's grandmother asked. "I went there back in the 80s and it was a really interesting experience. I have some pictures somewhere."

"Many times." the Doctor replied. "I took Clara to see it once, this past summer break."

"I've never seen anything quite like it." Clara provided. "I have some pictures on my phone."

"Well, you'll have to show them to us sometime." Dave Oswald said with a smile.

"Indeed." Linda commented. "Clara, you never told us that you visited America."

"It sort of slipped my mind." Clara said with an awkward grin.

The Doctor glanced at Clara's belly for the umpteenth time that evening. He would tell her after they left, he decided. They'd probably have to wait until the next day to leave. He'd tell her then. "I can't believe something like that slipped your mind." Linda frowned.

Clara's grandmother light-heartedly scolded Linda. "Oh, let them have their fun. Everyone should see the world before they settle down. Dave, don't you remember your time in France?"

"Mum, I asked you not to bring up France!" Dave blushed vividly.

"You were young. It's acceptable to experiment at that age." Clara's grandmother said with a smile. "I got a card from Jean-Pierre last Christmas. He says that he's doing well."

"Experiment?" Clara questioned. "Dad, what did Gran mean by 'experiment'? Who's Jean-Pierre?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." Dave said awkwardly, still blushing quite noticeably. "I came back home, married Ellie, and had Clara."

Clara's grandmother nodded. She then turned to her granddaughter and said, "Speaking of children, when are you due, Clara?"

The Doctor spat out his drink. Linda let out a sharp squeal as his drink drenched her blouse. Clara set her fork down and said, "Gran, I'm not pregnant."

"Are you sure, dear? I've seen enough in my day to recognize a pregnant woman by the ways he walks." Clara's grandmother chuckled. "It's also quite obvious in the way young John has been staring at your tummy all evening."

Clara looked at her fiance and said, "Doctor, tell her I'm not pregnant."

The Doctor cleared his throat awkwardly and sipped his drink. Clara raised her voice. "Doctor, _tell them that I'm not pregnant_!"

The Doctor didn't say anything. "Doctor, I'm not pregnant... right?" Clara said uncertainly.

The Doctor was looking anywhere but at his fiancee. Clara swallowed audibly and said, "I'm not... am I?"

The Doctor let out an awkward laugh and said, "Well..."

Clara stared at the Doctor until he finally provided an answer. "I was going to tell you tomorrow."

The teacher glared at the Time Lord and said, "Damn it, Doctor! How long did you know?"

"Since last week?" the Doctor replied awkwardly.

"How long?" Clara asked angrily.

"By now, approximately nine weeks." the Doctor provided.

"How could you not tell me this?" Clara shouted. "I can't believe you!"

Clara's grandmother let out a sigh. Dave Oswald cleared his throat and said, "Could someone pass the gravy?"

Clara's grandmother passed the gravy to her son and said, "Here you go, David."

"Thanks, Mum." Dave said, still feeling a little awkward.

"I can't you believe that I didn't tell me that I'm pregnant. I can't believe that I'm pregnant." It was then that the whole thing finally seemed to register. "Oh my god, Doctor. I'm _pregnant_!"

The Doctor grinned and said, "I know!"

"You're happy about it?" Clara questioned.

"I'm happy if you are." the Doctor replied.

"Yes!" Clara exclaimed. "We're going to be parents! Oh my god, Doctor! We're going to have a baby!"

"And there's the pride." Clara's grandmother said with a smile.

"I supose this means that you two are going to have to set a date for the wedding." Dave said.

"Let me get this straight- you're going to make us have a _shotgun wedding_?" The Doctor questioned.

"You are if you want to make an honest woman out of my daughter." Dave said sternly.

"Dad!" Clara groaned.

"Well, we were going to get married anyway." the Doctor said with a shrug.

Clara looked at her fiance and asked, "Should we tell them? You know, about everything?"

"We'll talk about it later." the Doctor replied.

"What are you talking about?" Dave asked. "Tell them what? Clara, are you keeping secrets from us? What aren't you telling me, Clara?"

Before things could escalate into another argument, Clara's grandmother said, "They said they'd tell us after supper, Dave." The woman then smiled and asked, "Would you like some roast beef, Doctor?"

 **Well, now the family knows. What's next?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, now the word is out. Clara and her family know now. Things are no doubt going to get crazy. What happens next? Stay tuned to find out!**

oooooooooooooooo

Chapter 3

After supper, the Doctor and Clara revealed everything to the Oswalds: the time travel, the fact that he was an alien, that he had met them before, his actual age- everything. Needless to say, they were shocked. There was a lot of yelling, but they eventually accepted it. Later, the Doctor and Clara scheduled a prenatal visit at a very reputable 28th century medical center. The human female was still rather cross with him for not telling her sooner, so she told him not to come with her. So, the Time Lord decided to keep himself busy. There were four more possible venues for their wedding left and he was determined to make at least one of them work. Vedrikus was a rather beautiful planet and its Villa of the Two Moons was known for being the location of many spectacular weddings. He just had to book the place for his own wedding. When he finally arrived there, he used his psychic paper to get in. The doorman tilted his hat and said, "Come on in! Welcome to the Villa of the Two Moons, Mister Smith!"

This wasn't the first time that the Doctor posed as a travel writer who was there to write an article about a location that claimed to have good hospitality. The Time Lord nonchalantly headed over to the front desk. He placed an elbow on the desk and smiled at the well-dressed woman sitting behind it. Her name tag read 'Mercedes'. Mercedes smiled and said, "Welcome to the Villa of the Two Moons! How may I help you?"

"I'd like to know what dates I can book a reservation on." the Doctor replied.

"Well, our next opening is on the 8th of July." Mercedes said. "Might I ask what the booking is for?"

"I've heard about the weddings held at this place and I was interested in holding me and my fiancee's wedding here." the Doctor explained. "This place also has very good reviews, which is why I was interested."

"Well, congratulations!" She looked at her computer. She typed a few things down and said, "Mister Smith, if you just give me a little information, I can finalize your reservation. Name of your intended?"

"Clara Oswin Oswald." the Doctor replied.

"Species?" Mercedes inquired.

"Human." the Doctor provided.

"Age?"

"Thirty."

"All right." Mercedes said. "Now I need to enter some information on you. Age?"

"Two thousand and fifty-eight." the Doctor replied.

Mercedes raised a brow. "You're joking. I'll just put in 58. Species? Don't lie. You'll be scanned later."

The Doctor hesitated before saying, "Time Lord."

Mercedes frowned and said, "Sir, I'm going to have to deny your reservation. The Villa of the Two Moons takes a strong moral stance against inter-species relationships."

The Doctor activated his Attack Eyebrows. "What the hell is wrong with inter-species relationships?" He asked angrily. "I came here to get married. My money is just as good as anyone else's."

Mercedes seemed unaffected by the Attack Eyebrows. "Sir, if you can't respect the sanctity of marriage, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

The Doctor slammed his hands on the desk and said, "I am not leaving until I get a reservation! I demand to speak to the manager!"

Mercedes frowned at the Doctor and shouted, "Security!"

Two burly-looking human males grabbed the Doctor by his arms and dragged him away from the front desk. Once they arrived at the entrance, the security guards literally threw the Time Lord out the door. Seconds later, an image of his face appeared on the display screen outside. Underneath the picture were the words "BANNED FROM PREMISES."

The Doctor stood up and dusted himself off. He shot the place a furious glare before walking away. He knew that furries had been allowed to have a wedding here. That was just fine, yet he and Clara's wedding was somehow disrespecting the sanctity of marriage? The Time Lord frowned and took out his note pad. He then retrieved a pen and crossed the Villa of the Two Moons off of his list. Twenty-two had been crossed off and now only three potential venues remained.

ooooooooooooooooooo

The Doctor had arrived at the planet Beshani. He planned on going to the Warm Harts Matrimonial Center. If anywhere would be a good place to get married, the Warm Hearts Matrimonial Center was it. As he walked into the building, he saw that much of the decor was pink. He saw that the waiting room was very crowded, so he decided to sit down in a rather tacky heart-print chair. He questioned his idea of having the wedding here, but the rest of the facility was supposed to be less tacky-looking. A rat-like alien grinned at him and said, "You here to get married, too?"

"Why else would I be here?" the Doctor asked.

"Well, you could be a guest to someone else's wedding." the rat-like alien replied. "Me and my Nadyana are going to get married soon. This place generally has plenty of openings, so it shouldn't be hard to get a reservation."

The Doctor nodded. At least he had a better chance getting married here, provided that there weren't the same issues that there were at the Villa of the Two Moons. After about a half an hour, a female voice called out, "Bretig!"

The rat-like alien, Bretig, grinned and said, "Looks like I'm up! Good luck with your wedding, friend."

Bretig stood at the desk, answering a few questions. About fifteen minutes later, the Doctor's name was called. "Finally!" he huffed.

The Time Lord then headed over to the desk. When he saw the receptionist, a look of horror erupted onto his face. The receptionist, a female-sounding creature in typical furry garb said, "When would you like to have your wedding? Our next openings are the 20th and the 28th of June."

Without a word, the Doctor walked away. There was no way that he was going to deal with a furry. Knowing those people, the attached hotel would probably be caked in feces. He knew what happened at those conventions. He took out his note pad again and crossed out the Warm Hearts Matrimonial Center. Twenty-three down, two to go.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

This place had to be it, the Doctor thought as he walked into the headquarters of the Tera Novella Western Immersion. Yes, the whole thing was just theme weddings, but at least it would be memorable. The Western Immersion ran a simulation of the Old West. It probably wasn't the most realistic, but it sounded like something that Clara could potentially be interested in trying. An Old West theme wedding would definitely be memorable, he thought. The simulations usually lasted three weeks. It would be a story that they could tell their child for years to come. It was supposed to be safe. If anything serious happened, they would receive prompt, up-to-date medical care. The Doctor had very little reason to worry.

The Doctor walked up to the front desk and was greeted by a well-dressed man. "Hello! Welcome to the Tera Novella Western Immersion! We offer the best Wild West simulation in this part of the galaxy! How may I help you?"

"I'm interested in trying the simulation and getting married to my fiancee while we're here." the Doctor replied.

"Excellent!" the man at the desk said. "Would you care for some pamphlets and videos for more information? Perhaps we can offer you a tour. This is the safest simulation you'll ever find."

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Fifteen minutes later, the Doctor was running across the arid plains, doing his best to avoid flying bullets. "I thought you said that this was safe!" he shouted at the tour guide.

"It's supposed to be safe." the tour guide replied. "Unfortunately, we seem to be having a small technical issue with the androids."

"A small technical issue?" the Doctor barked, "They're _shooting_ at us!"

"We'll troubleshoot these issues soon!" the tour guide tried to reassure the Doctor. "Once we've fixed these technical issues, you're welcome to come back!"

"I'm not coming back here!" the Doctor said angrily. "The killer androids are a fairly strong deterrent!"

"Are you sure?" the tour guide asked. "I could talk to the management! I'm sure that they'll give you a discount!"

The Doctor and the tour guide exited the currently-unoccupied simulation and locked the doors behind them. "I'm still not coming back." the Time Lord said angrily.

"I'm sorry to hear that." the tour guide smiled. "Thank you for considering Tera Novella's Western Immersion!"

The Doctor huffed and walked away. Once again, he got his notebook out and crossed yet another item off the list. Twenty-four down, one to go. This next one had better be it.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

This one was it. It had to be it. It was the last and supposedly the best option. He'd heard great things about Silverstone Castle on the planet of Tesh. He'd visited it before, a few centuries before it became a little-known but very good destination for weddings. The Doctor tried to be optimistic as he walked into the area where he could book the castle for a wedding. The woman at the desk, a human-looking person named Samuela, smiled at him and said, "Hello, sir! What can I do for you?"

"I'd like to book the castle for my wedding." the Doctor replied.

"Wonderful!" Samuela said. "We have an opening at the 24th of July. Are you interested in booking your reservation for that date?"

"Yes." the Doctor said. "The sooner, the better."

"In a hurry to get married, huh?" Samuela said. "Well, there are always couples like that. The reservation cost will be 90,000 credits."

"Mind if I have a tour first?" the Doctor asked.

"That won't be a problem." Samuela replied. "I'll call Jerry over here and he'll give you a tour."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

An hour later, the castle was in smoking ruins. A very disheveled Samuela glared venomously at the Doctor and snarled, "I can't believe you destroyed the castle!"

"It was an accident!" the Doctor said defensively. "Besides, it was technically the Nurples who destroyed the castle."

"You just caused 100,000,000 credits worth of damage!" Samuela yelled. "You destroyed a 1,200 year old castle!"

"You're so ungrateful." the Doctor said with a scowl. "If the castle hadn't been destroyed, the Nurples would have kept replicating and eventually taken over your world."

"It was a _1,200 year old castle_!" Samuela screeched.

"The foundation is still there." the Doctor said. "You can rebuild."

"What part of 1,200 year old castle don't you understand?" Samuela was furious.

"Like I said, you can rebuild." the Doctor replied.

The Time Lord then walked away, leaving a screeching Samuela behind. When he returned to the TARDIS, he looked up future information on Silverstone Castle. It was eventually rebuilt to its original specifications, but rather than being open for weddings and other events, it was turned into a museum. The Doctor let out a sigh of dismay as he crossed off the twenty-fifth and final item on his list.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

With heavy hearts, the Doctor parked the TARDIS outside the medical center where Clara was, a few hours after her appointment was supposed to start. He waited for about ten minutes before his fiancee walked out of the medical center and headed over to him. The Time Lord swallowed silently. He couldn't delay it like he did with telling Clara that she was pregnant. "Clara," he said, "I have... news."

"So do I." Clara replied. "You first."

"Well, I have good new and bad news." the Doctor said.

"Tell me the good news first." Clara instructed her fiance.

"Well, the good news is that we won't be married by racists, eaten by Nurples, or shot by killer androids." the Doctor said.

"What's the bad news?" Clara asked.

"The bad news is that I've run out of possible options on the list of venues." the Doctor replied. "We're going to have to find someplace else if we're to get married before the baby is born."

"Babies." Clara corrected.

The Doctor gave Clara a puzzled look. "Pardon?"

Clara smiled and held up two fingers. The Doctor's eyes widened dramatically and his mouth fell open in surprise. "Are you saying that-" he tried to say, but his voice failed him before he could finish his sentence.

"Yes, I am." Clara said. "We're having twins."

oooooooooooooooooooo

 **It looks like things just got more complicated!**


	4. Chapter 4

**In a recent comment on AO3, someone brought up some concerns that I might be coming across as too hateful with my anti-furry jokes. While it is true that I can't stand the pushy, whiny, obnoxious, disgusting perverts who have no sense of common decency whatsoever (look up the literal shitstorm that was RainFurrest if you have the stomach for it- I mean it, you'll need a strong stomach) I really don't want to upset my readers more than I have to. I won't apologize for including furry jokes, but I will try to tone it down a bit. That being said, I hope you continue to enjoy the story!**

oooooooooooooooooooo

Chapter 4

The Doctor stared with wide eyes at Clara. It took him several attempts to speak, but he finally blurted, " _Twins_?"

"Yep." Clara replied. "Twins."

"Are you sure?" the Time Lord asked.

"Very sure." Clara said with a smile. "I can show you a picture of the sonogram if you'd like."

Clara then handed the Doctor the picture. The Time Lord stared pensively at the image before gently running his finger across it. "Twins." he murmured.

The two of them were so distracted that they almost didn't notice the approaching commotion. Seemingly appearing out of nowhere, a purple cat/giraffe furry walked by, playing _Ride of the Valkyries_ on a tuba. The Doctor and Clara stared at the weird thing as it marched past them. Once it was out of sight, the Time Lord said, "We should leave."

"Yes, let's." Clara replied with an awkward smile.

ooooooooooooooooooo

The Doctor and Clara sat a sidewalk cafe. The human female was sipping a cup of tea, as was the Time Lord. "So." the Doctor said. "It's twelve weeks now?"

"Eleven." Clara corrected.

"Right." the Doctor amended his statement. "So you're currently eleven weeks along."

"How goes the search for a venue?" Clara asked.

"Not well." the Doctor replied. "With the way things are going, we might as well get married in Las Vegas."

"I vote that we have an Elvis impersonator as an officiant." Clara joked.

"The actual Elvis might be there." the Doctor replied. "He didn't die. He just went back to his parents' home planet."

"Elvis was an alien?" Clara questioned.

"Technically, he was alien-American." the Doctor explained. "He _was_ hatched there, after all."

"Any other celebrities I should know about who are aliens?" Clara questioned.

"Well, contrary to what you might think, Jeremy Kyle is not, in fact, an alien." the Doctor said. "About half of his guests are, though."

"Humans can be weird." Clara admitted. "I suppose Oprah isn't an alien, either."

"Well, not the _original_ Oprah." the Doctor replied. "I suspect that Oprah is actually a hyper-intelligent, genetically modified hamster-like alien in a human-shaped mech suit."

"Do you have any proof of this?" Clara asked.

"Well, the evidence is on oprahisahamster dot com." the Doctor said.

"Doctor, you should know better than anyone not to believe everything you see on the internet!" Clara groaned.

"Are you sure?" the Doctor asked. "That Nigerian prince who needed a few thousand pounds was very convincing."

Clara facepalmed.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Clara's pregnancy had reached its twelfth week and the Doctor still hadn't found a place to have their wedding. He hadn't mentioned that he had noticed that she had gained a little weight. By the Doctor's estimate, his fiancee's pregnancy would probably last around twelve months, though with twins, she might deliver a couple weeks sooner than that. He and Clara had less than nine months to get married. The sooner they married, the better. Clara wasn't currently showing and the Doctor wanted to get married before she did start to show. There would be fewer questions that way. Clara let out a frustrated grunt and said, "I give up!"

"Give up what?" the Doctor asked.

"I give up with the whole searching thing." Clara replied. "Let's just get married in Las Vegas like you suggested."

"I wasn't serious." the Doctor said.

"Well, I am." Clara said, a frown clear on her face.

"We're not going to take you family with us, are we?" the Doctor groaned.

"They want to be at our wedding, Doctor." Clara said. "The one on Earth, anyway, and since we'll be getting married on Earth, they're going to come."

"Great." the Doctor grumbled. "More pudding brains on the TARDIS."

"You did _not_ just call my dad and my gran pudding brains." Clara glared at the Doctor.

"Well, no. Their brains are only slightly puddingish." the Doctor amended. "Your step-mother, on the other hand..."

Clara continued to glare at her fiance. The Doctor cleared his throat loudly and said, "Anyway, we should probably pick them up soon."

"Today is good." Clara said.

"Today it is, then." The Doctor replied.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The Oswalds were wide-eyed when they stepped into the TARDIS. "It's bigger on the inside!" Dave exclaimed. "How is it bigger on the inside?"

"It would take more math than you can understand to explain it." the Doctor replied. He then smiled and said, "Welcome to the TARDIS!"

"Time and Relative Dimensions in Space." Clara provided.

"Are you saying that it's some kind of space ship?" Clara's grandmother asked.

"She travels through space _and_ time!" the Doctor said proudly.

"She is a she and she's sentient, so be polite." Clara said. "She only just started to like _me_ in the past year."

"I don't believe this." Linda said. "This can't be real."

"I believe him." Clara's grandmother said. "I've reached an age where I don't question something based simply on how strange it is."

"He really _is_ an alien!" Dave gasped.

"Now that you're all finally caught up, we have a wedding to go to." the Doctor said.

"A wedding." Dave deadpanned. "On an alien planet?"

"Close." the Doctor replied as he input the coordinates. "Las Vegas."

"I've always wanted to visit." Clara's grandmother said with a smile.

"Well, we're going there." the Doctor said. "We'll be there in a few seconds. There is no way that I will miss it."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"You said that you wouldn't miss Las Vegas!" Dave Oswald groaned. "We're in a jail cell in who-knows-where!"

"Well, we're on a _planet_ called Las Vegas." the Doctor explained. "Clara and I have been here before. _This time_ , it isn't my fault."

"How is it not your fault that we're here?" Dave snapped. " _We're on the wrong planet_!"

"He's right, Dad." Clara defended her fiance. "It's not his fault. It's Linda's."

"What did _I_ do?" Linda snapped.

"You drank from the Sacred Fountain of Lanie Llamar." Clara replied.

"The sacred what?" Linda questioned. She looked at her husband and said, "Dave, tell them that it was just a drinking fountain."

"It wasn't a drinking fountain." the Doctor said. "It was the Sacred Fountain of Lanie Llamar."

"What's so special about this so-called fountain?" Linda asked tersely.

"Well, it's in the name." the Doctor pointed out. "It's _sacred_."

"It _was_ on the sign." Clara's grandmother pointed out.

"I didn't _see_ the sign!" Linda snapped.

"Sign or no, how do we get out of here?" Dave asked.

"Well, they should let you out after about six hours." A female voice pointed out.

Everybody turned to see a woman sitting on a bench in the cell with them. She was slim and had sun kissed skin, green eyes, and dark, curly hair. The Doctor recognized her immediately. "Hello, Leticia." he said coolly. "It's been a while."

Leticia smiled, revealing a pair of sharp-looking fangs. "Lovely to see you, Doctor." the supermodel-looking woman said.

"Not long enough." the Doctor said flatly.

"Who is this woman?" Dave asked.

"Leticia Braun, supermodel, actress, and cannibal." the Doctor introduced her. "We've... met."

"I see that you're getting married, Doctor." Leticia said. "Presumably to this pretty young thing." She smiled at Clara and said, "Might I say, darling, that you look absolutely delicious in that wedding dress?"

"Thank you, but you're not getting a taste anytime soon." Clara said with a frown.

"That's a shame." Leticia said, smiling once more.

"Oh god, are you going to eat us?" Linda asked, clearly frightened.

"Don't flatter yourself, dearie." Leticia replied. "You're far too salty."

"Salty?" Linda huffed.

Clara snickered at Leticia's words. The supermodel turned to the Doctor and smiled once more. "Regardless, Doctor, it looks like you could use a witness at your wedding." Leticia chuckled. "It's been a while since I've been in your lovely TARDIS."

"Last time, you tried to eat me." the Doctor pointed out.

"It's all in the past, Doctor." Leticia waved a hand dismissively. "I've changed my ways."

"I hope that means that you've stopped eating people." Clara said.

"Only the pretty ones, darling." Leticia replied.

Clara's family stared uneasily at Leticia. "I don't trust her." Linda whispered to Dave.

"Well, you're kin to the Doctor's bride, so you're off the menu." Leticia said. She looked directly at Linda and added, "Consider yourself especially lucky that you're her kin _and_ you're too salty."

"I thought you didn't eat pretty people." Linda said with a frown.

"Exactly." Leticia grinned, once again baring her fangs.

Linda sputtered loudly before letting out an angry huff and turning away from Leticia while Clara's grandmother laughed. "Regardless, my tasty little darlings," Leticia said with a smile, "I got in here about five minutes before you did. We have less than six hours until we get out of here. Does anyone want to play charades?"

"Traditional or street rules?" the Doctor asked.

"Street rules." Leticia replied.

"All right, then." The Doctor cracked his knuckles. "I call dibs on the first Illustrious Potato."

"Illustrious what?" Dave questioned.

"Just sit back and watch, Dad." Clara patted her father's arm. "This is going to be good."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Six hours later, the group was released from the jail cell with a strict warning not to do it again. Not long afterwards, everyone was back on the TARDIS. Dave Oswald glanced at Leticia and asked, "Does she _have_ to be here?"

"She said that she'd changed her ways." the Doctor said with a shrug. "Besides, she said that she won't eat my future in-laws, despite the fact that she only eats people who aren't pretty." He looked at Dave. "I think I can safely assume that Clara gets her good looks from her mum."

"Doctor!" Clara scolded.

"I'm sorry, Dave." Clara's grandmother patted her son's arm. "He's right. You're a handsome man," She ignored the Doctor's loud scoff. "but Clara does look more like her mother."

"Enough prattling." the Doctor interrupted. "We're going to Las Vegas- the city on Earth, not the planet."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Unfortunately, once again, they arrived at the wrong location. "This place has blue trees." Dave said with a frown. He groaned and asked, "Are we on the wrong planet again?"

"Actually, we're on an asteroid." the Doctor said.

"An _asteroid_?" Linda sounded panicked.

"Don't go into hysterics." the Doctor said with a note of annoyance in his voice. "We're not going to collide with anything."

"Doctor, what is this place?" Clara asked.

"We're in the Booplewoods," the Doctor replied, "about four hours' drive from the colony of Haributom."

"Hairy bottom?" Dave questioned.

"Haributom." the Doctor corrected.

Suddenly, there was a rustling sound. A Labrador-sized, white, bunny-like creature with white, feathery wings and a glowing halo hopped out of the bushes. Another followed, and then another, until the Doctor and the Oswalds were surrounded. One of the creatures, a blue-eyed one with a gold piercing in her left ear, said, "Welcome back to the Booplewoods, Doctor. It is good to see you again."

Dave Oswald proceeded to flip out. "I can understand the angel-bunny." He panicked. "Why does the angel-bunny speak English?"

The Doctor scoffed and said, "You didn't think that _your_ species invented the English language, did you?" He let out a chuckle and added, "Let me guess: you also think that _rabbits_ are native to _your_ planet."

"Are you saying that rabbits are aliens?" Clara's grandmother asked.

"Well, they're the descendants of aliens." the Doctor explained. "They were brought to Earth to test the climate but the aliens interested in colonization decided that moving was too expensive. Rabbits share a common ancestor with the Dreaded Booplesnoots."

"The Dreaded _what_?" Linda questioned.

"The Dreaded Booplesnoots." the Doctor explained. He pointed at the fluffy, white creatures and said, "These are Dreaded Booplesnoots, or as they call themselves, the Booplefolk."

"We do not often have guests." the blue-eyed Booplesnoot leader said. She bowed her head politely and said, "I am Tsandri. I am chieftain of these Booplefolk."

"These are the Oswalds." The Doctor introduced the group. "The female in white is Clara."

"Ah." Tsandri said observantly. "She is your Other."

"His 'Other'?" Clara questioned.

"For lack of a better word, his soulmate." Tsandri elaborated. "They are connected on the deepest level. In any life, they will find each other. They are two halves a whole. They are a perfectly matched pair. They belong with each other, to each other, on the deepest spiritual level."

"That sounds rather romantic." Clara's grandmother said with a smile.

"We are all glad to see you again, Doctor." Tsandri said.

"Well, we didn't come here on purpose." Dave said.

"That is where you are wrong, Male Oswald." Tsandri replied. "Clara and the Doctor were destined to come here."

"Well, what's supposed to happen now that they're here if they are 'destined' to be here?" Linda asked.

Tsandri chuckled and said, "They will be united, of course."

"United?" the Doctor questioned. "What do you mean 'united'?"

"The closest comparison is the Hari-folk's 'wedding' ceremonies." Tsandri explained. "If things have been happening that have prevented you from uniting elsewhere, why not unite here?"

The Doctor looked at Clara. Clara smiled and said, "It does sound kind of romantic. If we can't get married anywhere else, why not here?"

The Doctor shrugged. "If that's what you want."

"Let's do it, Doctor." Clara grinned. "Let's get married."

"Excellent!" Tsandri declared. She looked at a Booplesnoot with a nick in its left ear and said, "Inini, make preparations!" The Booplesnoot leader then turned to the group and said, "Follow me, please."

The Doctor, Clara, and the Oswalds followed the herd of Booplesnoots deeper into the Booplewoods. When they reached a circular clearing. In the clearing was a circle of ancient-looking statues, a worn-looking alter built of stone, and a large stump. Tsandri then said, "We must wait for a small time. Clara, sit down on the stump."

While they were waiting, some of the Booplesnoots started weaving flowers into Clara's hair. By the time they were done, Inini had returned with a headdress woven from river grass and feathers. Tsandri put the headdress on and said, "Let the ceremony begin! Everyone rise, please. Doctor, Clara, approach the alter."

The Doctor and Clara approached the alter and shared a smile. Tsandri began to speak. "We are gathered, here in this sacred space, to unite the Doctor and Clara. He is her Other and she is his Other. They have crossed many paths to find each other, and here they are," She gestured towards the statues. "under the sight of the Ancient Ones to finally achieve union."

Tsandri looked at the Doctor and said, "Do you, Doctor, Time Lord of Gallifrey, consent to unite with Clara, human of Earth?"

"I consent." the Doctor responded.

Tsandri nodded and turned to Clara. "Do you, Clara, human of Earth, consent to unite with the Doctor, Time Lord of Gallifrey?"

Clara nodded and said, "I consent to unite with the Doctor."

Tsandi placed her paws on the couple's hands and pushed them together. "Touch paws, Clara, human of Earth, and Doctor, Time Lord of Gallifrey."

The Doctor and Clara joined hands and smiled. Tsandri touched a circle on the alter with her paw. Suddenly, the clearing was filled with small orbs of light. "The first seconds of your union are lit with the light of the Ancient Ones." Tsandri said. "May the glow of your eternal devotion light your love forevermore."

The Booplesnoot leader hopped over to the pair. "You have achieved Oneness, Doctor, Time Lord of Gallifrey, and Clara, human of Earth." She propped herself up on her haunches and used her front paws to push the couple's joined hands into the air. "The union is complete!" Tsandri announced. "May your union be most fruitful!"

Clara stood up on her tip-toes and kissed the Doctor. When she released the Time Lord, he had a puzzled look on his face. He turned to Tsandri and asked, "How did you know what our species and home planets were?"

Tsandri looked directly at the Doctor and said, "We Booplefolk know many things, Doctor."

The Time Lord was silent until Clara took his hand and smiled at him. The Doctor looked back at her and smiled. His fiancee- no, his _wife_ then said, "Well, Doctor, we're married now."

"Yeah." the Doctor replied with a smile.

"Now that leaves just one thing." Clara's grandmother said.

"What's that?" the Doctor asked.

"The honeymoon, of course!" Clara's grandmother chuckled. "You two are going to need to have as much fun as you can before you become parents."

The Doctor looked at Clara with a semi-alarmed expression on his face, but she offered him a comforting smile. "Well, it's finally happened." he said.

"What?" Clara asked.

The Doctor chuckled and said, "I'm finally Mr. Clara."

Clara couldn't help but burst into laughter. Moments later, she was joined by the Doctor.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

 **Yaaaaay! They're married now! All that's left is the epilogue!**


	5. Epilogue

**Well, this is it, readers. It's finally the end. I hope you've enjoyed reading this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Will this series be continued? I don't have an answer for that. We'll just see what the feature brings. Now, dear readers, I present the epilogue to** _ **In A Family Way**_.

oooooooooooooooooo

Epilogue

 _8 1/2 months later_

It was a frantic, frantic day for the Doctor. It was also frantic, to say the least for Clara. Today was the day. Clara has gone into labor a few hours earlier and it wouldn't be long until she and the Doctor were new parents. The Doctor wasn't quite sure what to do. He knew that Clara's labor was progressing faster than expected. "Does it usually take this long?" the Time Lord asked.

"Ellie had a two hour labor." Dave replied.

"Times can vary." the nurse explained. "It won't be long now."

The Doctor smiled at Clara, who was clearly in a lot of pain. "You heard him. It shouldn't be long now, Clara."

Clara glared at her husband and said, "I don't care if this is average or long or short. I've been at this for _twelve fucking hours_!"

"Language, Clara." the Doctor gently scolded his wife.

"I'll say whatever I want." Clara growled.

The nurse lifted Clara's hospital gown to examine her and a gush of fluids splattered her in the face. "Her water broke!" the nearly-human woman called out.

The room was then filled with many people as things progressed. Before long, things were ready. "You're fully dilated. It's time, Clara!" the obstetrician called out.

Clara let out a sharp cry as the pain intensified. The Doctor managed not to wince as she squeezed his hand almost to the point of pain. "You can do it, Clara."

Clara grabbed the Doctor by the front of his shirt and yanked him so he was face to face with her. "You did this to me." she growled. "I've been putting up with this for eleven and a half _fucking_ months an _I want these things out of me_!"

"Language, Clara!" the Doctor scolded his wife once again.

"All right, Clara, you can start pushing." the obstetrician instructed.

The Doctor watched, still holding Clara's hand, as she struggled with the task at hand. "Don't forget to breathe, Clara." the Time Lord said.

"Shut up, Doctor!" Clara snapped before letting out another cry of pain.

Things continued to progress over the next few minutes, with Clara alternating between screaming and swearing a blue steak that could blister the ears of someone with delicate sensibilities. "I can't do it!" Clara whimpered, clutching the Doctor's hand tightly. "Doctor, I can't do it!"

"You can do it, Clara." the Doctor said, "Humans have been doing it for millennia. I know it's hard, but you can do it!"

The obstetrician called out, "It's almost there- one more push, Clara!"

Clara let out one last ear-splitting scream before, finally, the first of her twins entered the world. There was two seconds of silence before the sound of an infant's cry pierced the air. One of the nurses smiled at Clara and said, "It's a girl!"

The Doctor gently squeezed his wife's hand and said, "Do you hear that, Clara? We have a little girl!"

There wasn't much time to celebrate. "All right, here comes the next one!" the obstetrician declared.

Clara labored for a few more minutes before her second child exited her body. Moments later, there was another cry. "Another girl!" the obstetrician announced.

The Doctor looked at his wife. She looked utterly exhausted and she was drenched with sweat, but she had the biggest grin on her face. The two babies were set on their mother's chest. Clara let out a happy sigh as she got her first look at her daughters before the medical staff scooped them up and took them away.

ooooooooooooooooooo

A few hours later, Clara, the Doctor, and Dave Oswald sat in Clara's room, waiting for news. Finally, two nurses came in, each of them wheeling a tiny bed with in. "Here they are." one of the nurses said with a smile.

Clara looked at her daughters for a moment before looking at the nurse. "Can I hold them?"

"Of course." the nurse said.

The nurse then handed both of the babies to their mother, one at a time. The nurse chuckled and said, "I'll be back in a few minutes."

After the nurse left, the Doctor walked over to examine his newborn daughters. They were smaller than he had expected. "They're so tiny." he commented.

"Clara was that size when she was born." Dave said. "They were just born. They're brand new, so of course they're small."

"They're beautiful." Clara said breathily.

"I know. They are." The Doctor smiled gently as he caressed one baby's head, feeling the soft, brown fuzz that was her hair.

"I can't believe it." Clara breathed. "Eleven months and two weeks, plus twelve hours of labor and we're finally parents."

One of the babies began to fuss, followed shortly afterwards by the other. "Looks like they're hungry." the Doctor commented.

The nurse happened to arrive just then. Clara turned to her and said, "They're hungry. Can you fetch a couple bottles?"

"Of course." the nurse said.

The nurse then left. A few minutes later, she returned with a pair of nice, warm bottles of formula, one for each baby. Clara fed one baby while the Doctor fed the other. Dave chuckled and said, "You both look like you're naturals at this."

"Indeed." the Doctor said. This wasn't his first time, but the last time was so long ago that he wasn't sure that he'd remember how to do it.

Dave watched his daughter and his two thousand year old son-in-law for a while. "Well, I'm a granddad now." he said with a smile. He then looked at the two new parents and asked, "Do you two have any names in mind for my granddaughters?"

Clara smiled awkwardly and said, "We actually didn't really talk about names."

"You didn't talk about names?" Dave questioned. "Surely you had something in mind!"

"No, not really." Clara sighed. She looked up at her husband and asked, "Doctor, do you have any ideas?"

"I have a couple." the Doctor replied with a smile. "In fact, I think I've thought up the perfect names."

"What do you think we should name them?" Clara asked.

The Doctor smiled as he looked at the baby that he was feeding. "This one is Sarah Jane," he decided. He then looked at the twin that Clara was feeding. "and that one is Eleanor."

Dave Oswald looked to be on the verge of tears when he heard what his son-in-law wanted to name one of the twins. "Eleanor would be the perfect name." he choked out.

"What do you think, Clara?" the Doctor inquired.

Clara smiled at her husband, then at her daughters. In a soft, gentle voice, the new mother said, "Sarah Jane and Eleanor it is."

oooooooooooooooooooooo

 **Don't you just love happy endings?**


End file.
